you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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