whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
