She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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