You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
