He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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