Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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