Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
