My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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