I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
