he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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