Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
