Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I am naked and annoyed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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