Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
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