i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize