we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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