I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
