Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
