Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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