we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
