Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
