in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
