just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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