STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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