singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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