My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
