Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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