I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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