well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
