I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
