I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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