He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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