it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
