Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
