When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We are two peas in an std pod
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
