He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
