Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
