ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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