Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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