I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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