After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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