So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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