Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
