I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
