There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
