We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
