i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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