So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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