Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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