help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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