i just wanna soil my oats bro
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
