Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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