i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
