Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
pop tarts are not kleenex
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
