I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
