this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
