he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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