The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
