Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
