Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
